Because I havn't stopped thinking
For the what if’s, why’s and maybe’s
For the hopes and fears
All the heartache and tears
For those tiny lives lost
And the dreams crushed
And I wonder, after all these years
If you wonder, still
And are the what if’s and if only’s still there?
Do they cross your mind,
Do you remember them for always,
And love them forever?
Did your arms ache three times over,
And do you ever think of them,
Even though your arms have been filled three times since?
Did lie awake at night and weep,
Did your whole body ache with the agony of loss,
Like I did?
And did you wonder if you’d ever hold your child,
Or would you miss out on all of that,
Like I fear?
Will I still think of him on what would have been his fifth,
Tenth
Twentieth
Birthday?
Or will I forget, once my arms are full, once they cannot ache?
Have their memories stayed with you,
Their dates (their names)?
Were they planned or surprises?
Not that it matters, because it’s the same pain either way.
And like this poem, it makes no sense,
And like this poem, there is no right ending…